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"This is the life!" ...
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"I don't have a hard time convincing people to come down to Miami." ...
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"Miami's taking over" ...
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— by Shaheem Reid; interviews by Sway Calloway
This is the other side of sexy, right here.
We're in Miami, it's about 92 degrees out, both men and women are sunbathing topless — but we couldn't even sneak a peek if we wanted to. We're whizzing past them at what feels like Daytona-500 speed, and thankfully the resulting wind is taking the edge off of the heat.
This is the life of Fat Joe: one of Miami's newest and most visible residents.
Joe would love nothing more than to do a drive-by past his home in the MIA, and by golly he's going to do it today. The only thing is, the don of the Terror Squad isn't cruising by his crib in his sky-blue Rolls Royce Phantom or the black Bentley Coupé in which you'll usually see him rolling down I-95.
Joe is actually playing captain on a $1.2 million, 81-foot yacht — loaded with a microwave, a big-screen TV, a full kitchen, a stereo system and a sunbathing pad — that he's testing out, ripping across the ocean like Jack Sparrow being chased by Captain Barbarossa. Actually, he's just going 28 knots (or roughly 33 miles per hour), but to him and everybody on the ship it feels like "a gazillion" mph.
"There's a [neighbor] who tells me every day about his boat," Joe said while standing on the top deck, where his best friend/co-manager Macho, Captain Pete and the boat's crew are all listening to his testimony. Meanwhile, down on the lower deck, the less-than-chiseled DJ Khaled is hanging out with some other non-rapping Terror Squadians, enjoying the sun and water.
"Every day, I see people ride past my house in a boat. Don't you wanna see it from theee otherrr side? I do!" Joe, holding the steering wheel steady, says to Macho, who looks unimpressed.
As Cappy Pete coaches Joe on his navigation, the Bronx-born MC is distracted by some action in the water.
"Oh sh--! I seen a shark!" Joe yells. The captain informs Joe that it was probably not a shark that he saw jump through the air and back into the ocean, but it's quite possible he saw a dolphin.
"On my mother, I saw one!" Joe insists to the small circle of people on the top deck, none of whom say they saw a shark.
"Yeah, Joe. I'm sure you saw one," Macho offers before pointing to the water. "Look! There goes a ... unicorn!"
Everyone cracks up — except Joe, who scowls at Macho. But as the yacht passes the immaculately kept, multimillion-dollar condos on Fisher Island, the look of exasperation fades from his face when he finally sees his building.
"This is the life!" he yells.
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Photo: MTV News
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Tune in August 13 at 1 p.m. ET/PT for the premiere of "My Block: Miami."
