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'Last time I checked, freedom of speech [meant] to say what I felt.' ...
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'Dre saved my life. Just that alone is enough for me to respect that man for the rest of my life.' ...
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Page 3
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'I would walk away from all of this if I had to' ...
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Sway: It seems like you've gone through a serious evolution since the days of "Just Don't Give a F---" and "My Name Is." Back then it was Slim Shady, Eminem, Marshall Mathers. Now, your music sounds like the person you really are. Is this who we're seeing now? Is this who you are?
Eminem: I mean, a lot of times, people ask me, "Who is Slim Shady? Who is Eminem? Who is Marshall?" The best way that I can define it is, Slim Shady is the guy on a song like "Rain Man," which is on the new album, who is saying the most ridiculous stuff you can think of — stuff you can't even imagine somebody saying. Then there's Eminem, who is conscious of the outcome and this is how he really feels. Then there's Marshall, who goes home at night and is the real person outside of entertainment, who struggles with the fame and dealing with going from where I really came from to now.
Sway: Is it a real struggle? I mean, do you lose sleep thinking about that?
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"A lot of times, people ask me, 'Who is Slim Shady? Who is Eminem? Who is Marshall?' "
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Eminem: Yeah. I lose a lot of sleep thinking about stuff like that. I'm a thinker. I think a lot, you know. I constantly work at trying to maintain a certain amount of fame and wanting to be able to have a label and be able to create a whole food chain, but at the same time, wanting to be a father. Diddy said it best when he said, "Mo money, mo problems." It's true. Because now, I don't got money problems but I got a whole lot of other problems, as anybody that checks the news can see. Just a day in the life. If people really saw it, they may not want it.
Sway: How did you envision this life before you started out?
Eminem: When I was a kid, just dreaming about becoming famous, I always said, "I just want to be able to make enough money to make a living where I don't have to work a regular job but I can do shows and get paid a couple of hundred bucks here and there, and get by and support my family." That's all I ever really wanted to be.
It feels good to put other people on. It feels good to make other people's lives better. But in the meantime, you're sacrificing a lot of your own time and your own energy trying to keep other people happy. At the end of the day, are you happy with yourself? Are you making yourself happy? My best way for me to do that is to go home to be with my daughter, be a father and to make music.
All the rewards and awards I've gotten, I'm always grateful for. But at the end of the day, if somebody would have asked me [if this is] what I really wanted? With this much fame? Well, I can't pump my own gas without stopping traffic. I didn't want this much.
Sway: So what drives you to continue?
Eminem: I always feel like what drives me is wanting your kids to have everything that you didn't have growing up. And in doing so, you become as unmaterialistic as I feel that I am. I want my kids to have the perfect life. You want your kids to have everything you never had, so you got to keep going 'cause you feel like if you lose it ... I mean, it's definitely good to plan ahead and to be smart business-wise and to be able to put away for my daughter's college fund. I got other family members I got to take care of. But also you do feel sometimes like you're neglecting the quality time. That's why it's so important for me to equal out and balance that with the level of fame that I've gotten.
And if there ever comes a day that I would have to pick one or the other, I already know what it would be. I would walk away from all of this if I had to.
Tune in to MTV on Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET to see our exclusive, in-depth interview with Eminem, "MTV News Now: The Evolution of Eminem."
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Photo: Interscope
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