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Erasing The Scars
For Lewis, writing about what's real is a lesson in full emotional disclosure. Pleas for help abound in Tormented tracks such as "Break" and "Nameless," while terminal depression surfaces on "Self Destruct." Dysfunction, released in 1999, doesn't paint a much brighter picture, though it finds Lewis pointing his poisoned rage at the causes of his anguish: "I guess my mother never loved my dad/ And now I wear it on my sleeve," he sings in "Me," and the hidden track "Excess Baggage" sharpens the blame to a point: "I can't seem to erase all the scars I have lived with/ From you."
Again anchored by Lewis' emotionally dark lyrics, Break the Cycle, which debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart with a staggering 716,000 copies sold, according to SoundScan, could be construed as the third chapter of Staind's self-help discography. Where Tormented exposes the symptoms plaguing the singer's unstable inner health and Dysfunction pinpoints their sources, Break the Cycle provides a diagnosis and a path toward recovery.
"There's more of a glimmer of hope on this record than there was in Dysfunction and especially Tormented," Mushok explains. "Things can get better, and things do get better."
Despite the traumas he sings about, Lewis believes that given time, even the deepest wounds heal. After being informed of a fan's suicide by the victim's mother, he wrote Break the Cycle's "Waste" to express his absolute disdain for taking the easy way out.
"F--- you," he lashes out in the lyrics, "for not having the strength in your heart to pull through. I've had doubts, I have failed ... Doesn't mean I should take my life with my own hands."
My So-Called Life
Lewis is modestly curt when it comes to talking about his songwriting, ironic considering he bares warts and all in song. His voice descends to a bashful mumble when pressed to elaborate on his talent, and an awkward silence usually follows. He directs most queries to what's evident from the songs themselves: Staind resonates with anguished adolescents because Lewis speaks from experience.
"I wasn't a very well adjusted kid," he says, his eyes wide and puffy.
"I've always been the sensitive guy. I've never been able to just let things slide off my shoulders or let people's comments not bother me. I don't have very high self-esteem, and I'm not the most self-confident person. I tend to be very hard on myself." [RealAudio]
While his songs delve into elements of his personal torture, Lewis avoids providing specifics in conversation. "I haven't [gone there] yet, and I'm not going to now," he says, explaining that a series of events are responsible for rendering him a bundle of damaged goods. A memento from his school days would no doubt paint a clearer picture.
"In high school I used to write a lot of poetry," Lewis says. "There's a notebook out there somewhere that got left in the back of a friend's car chock-full [of poems] that I never saw again. It was like a three or four-subject notebook with the dividers removed, and it was just full, and it's all gone. I don't write stuff down on paper anymore. I wait until it's time to do it and just spit it out."
Growing increasingly uncomfortable with each inquiry, he blames "life and what life was for me for 26 years" for his injured state. "There were a lot of things that I went through in life that changed and distorted my views on things. My [family life] wasn't so solid. There was never really a sense of home, and the tight-knit family atmosphere wasn't there, for sure. But that was just one of many things. All that stuff falls into it."
If a silver lining is to be found in Lewis' childhood trauma, it's his ability to translate sentiment into song. Staind songs are nothing if not a raw outpouring of emotion, whether the feeling be love, hate, despair or utter revulsion.
And though the band is too often pegged as nü-metal flag-wavers, Staind fans aren't shocked that the majority of Break the Cycle is closer to the somber tones of the album's first single, "It's Been Awhile," and the Lewis/Fred Durst live duet of "Outside," found on the Family Values Tour 1999 album, than to the distorted bombast of their peers. (A plugged-in studio version of "Outside" also appears on Break the Cycle.)
"That's what we've always done. Just listen to the records," says April, who played in a blues band before joining Staind. Mushok had a six-year relationship with the acoustic guitar before even owning an electric ax, and Lewis always writes acoustically, removing Staind from the crop of rock bands whose mainstream success comes on the heels of an uncharacteristic ballad.
Acoustic alchemy, internal pressure and how "Outside" helped bridge the gap ... NEXT >>>
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